That's what I thought to myself as I browsed the aisle of motorized vehicles for kids at the Toys-R-Us store. They all looked shitty and flimsy. That is of course till I saw this bad ass mother fucker.

Most Power Wheels type cars are 12volts, have one shitty little motor to power both drive wheels and are crappy as all hell and cheaply built. This $900 dynamo has a 24volt system with a battery the size of a car's, two beefy motors one for each drive wheel, independent rear suspension and has a top speed of 71/2 MPH. It also can drive in reverse, has a AM/FM radio/mp3 player, two cup holders and bucket seats with seat belts.

The store clerk offered to have it built for me for an additional $120. I naturally scoffed and built it myself. The hardest part was getting all the stickers just right... Everything else just kind of popped into place.

My kid is a lucky little fucker. I just hope that he appreciates it one day.

One of you fucks made a thread...

I am considering letting the thread continue and then banning everybody that posted in it.
What do you cunts think about that?

Go fuck yourself.

I can't remember the last time I felt more patriotic. I hope he doesn't get dead.

.
/* */

(ring ring ring)

Thank you for calling AT&T how can I help yo-

ZOMFG I OWE HOW MUCH FOR MY PHONE BILL?!?!!?!

Sir your you owe us $4,088.89.

FUCK YOU! YOU GODAMN JACKASS! I HAVE THE MONTHLY $30 UNLIMITED PLAN!!

Seems like you are incorrect, si-

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT AND GET YOUR FUCKING MANAGER ON THE PHONE!

This is the manager, can I help you Sir?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHRRAAAAAGE !!!!

Oops, sorry about that sir. There's apparently a mistake and we'll it fix right away.
Thank you come again, would you like a squishy before you go?

YES THANK YOU! I will take a squishy. *unclenches asshole*

(click)

I swear to god I love this damn thing. It is the best phone/gadget thing I have ever owned ever......
I should of bought it ages ago. I am so glad my other phone shit the bed. Fuck that thing. Fuck it in the god damned neck, right where it breathes godammit.

I love it so fucking much that I wish it had a cunt so I could fuck it slow and deep.
I wish it had a pair of tits so I could nuzzle my twisted spic dick and balls between them.

If you don't own an iphone, you're a stupid piece of shit. You're a stupid piece of shit and a faggot that doesn't know what he/she is missing and should probably kill yourself.

Seriously.....

This fucking thing has made me happy as a motherfucker.

It makes me not hate all you cunts so much.
It makes candy taste better.
It makes pussy feel better.
It makes me want to do the funky chicken while singing in the rain.

I would cunt punt a toddler clear across the room to save my iphone.
Two times.....

tl:dr iphone ftw fuck you if you don't have one, lol.

LINK

You guys were right all along...... I am a sucky mod and I need to die in five fires.

I am so sorry I hurt all of you guys faggot feelings. I should be lynched for treading on you guy's sentiments and making fun of your rampant stupidity and raging homosexuality.

What a dick I am.....

I'm so sorry NG.

Will you please accept my apology and accept me back into your stupid ass faggot mother fucker ranks?

Some time next week we'll be jacking my crane for the second time on this job.

The first time was kind of a harrowing experience being that all involved including myself were inexperienced at jacking this type of crane. Luckily it went off with minor complications and no major calamities.

So if hurricane IKE doesn't decimate us like the alarmist forcasters would have us believe, my crane will be an additional 80 feet or so higher.

I don't know if I'll be broadcasting the process again this time around.
But if I do you'll hear about it in this thread.

Also, check out this video of a slightly crazy and very well spoken alarmist.
He makes some very interesting points and observations...

.
/* */

Stop calling users that are gender confused, FAGGOTS.

It's not nice and I am a big poopy head for doing it. Pussies have been hurt. Feelings have been penised.
It's not nice at all and calling people FAGGOTS should be avoided at all costs......

Don't do it anymore. OK guys?

Hey guys, I'd like to thank you all for your support and I'll see you guys at the polls....

Let's turn this country around and set her in the right direction once and for all.

Check out this news cast I was linked to that shows all the support I've been getting from you guys:
VOTE POOZY

Here's a screen shot of a paltalk chat room made about my candidacy.