In this blog and perhaps the next I'm going to post some short journal entries that an English professor made me keep during my first year of college. After a couple of weeks of making the journal entires I grew bored of it and asked the professor is I could enter "imaginary" scenarios as my entries. She agreed and the following are some of the most popular ones. You'll notice that on some entries their is a quote after my signature. That is the professors comment of the entry. Usually written in red ink. I should point out that this professor was a old woman that looked alarmingly like Mrs. Doubtfire
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11/9/00
You know what? Today I grew sick and tired of those god damn airplanes that fly so low over my house. They zoom over every ten minutes and they're so low I can see the pilot laughing at me and flipping me the bird. It's terrible. They're so loud you can't even hold a conversation outside. Anyways, today I shot two of them out of the sky with my rocket launcher. Low and behold....
No more planes have flown over.
Who's laughing now Mr. Pilot?
Moses
"Oh dear god! Those poor people"
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11/10/00
Today my neighbors threw me a ticker tape parade. They were celebrating the end of their torment caused by those infernal planes flying over their head. It was really cool, I felt like a hero.
Moses
"I would have called the police!"
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11/16/00
While driving around today. Just for shits and giggles I decided to jump the curb and mow down unassuming, presumably innocent pedestrians. I decimated every single one I could reach with my front bumper while plowing through the crowds and displays. It was really fun. The only part that sucked was getting all the blood and gristle off my car. :(
Moses
"Only a maniac would do such a thing!"
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11/17/00
Earlier this evening on the way to school, an officer stopped me. I though that this wold be a perfect opportunity to vent some pent up rage. So as the officer approached my window I waited and as he leaned over to speak to me. I smashed him in the fucking balls and snatched his gun. As one of Miami's finest crashed to his knees in his pinnacle experience of man pain, I threw my door open. Cracking his skull beautifully. Now the officer lays weeping on the unforgiving damp concrete, pleading for his life and quivering in my shadow. I then snatched him up by his throat and torre him to his feet. Then I located his trachea and clutched it in a kung-fu grip and kicked him right across his tits. Ripping out a large section of his windpipe along with his adams apple. I then got into my car. Wiped my bloody hands and put his torn parts into the cooler next to me on the passenger seat. Then took the vehicle out of park and ran over his still twitching body and continued n my way to school.
Moses
"You should take up football. Such hostile thoughts!"
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That's all for now. I'll post several more on the next blog. But for those of you blissfully unaware of this mind blowing insanity. Pop that cherry and watch Ronald get his crack on in this vid.
stfufbi
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1925 dep.fbi
