Well, better hope that this will teach him how to drive a good get-a-way car real fast now.

Woah, you have a kid?? :D

Well, all I could say is: He is one lucky motherfucker. I wish they had those when I was a kid.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

First, you must spread a thick layer of peanut butter onto the white part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the peanut butter on the white part, and the white part only. You may only spread peanut butter on one side. Spreading peanut butter on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. Next, you must spread a thick layer of jelly onto the white part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the jelly on the white part, and the white part only. You may only spread jelly on one side. Spreading jelly on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. You cannot spread jelly onto the same slice of bread onto which you have spread peanut butter. Also, you cannot spread peanut butter or jelly onto more than one slice of bread, as this will provide an undesired excess of either ingredient. Additionally, only peanut butter and jelly can be spread onto these slices of bread; no other ingredient will suffice, and no substitute can be used in a sandwich that is to be legitimately recognized as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Likewise, only bread may be the substance upon which the peanut butter and jelly are spread, as anything else does not fit the standards of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; if the peanut butter and jelly are spread onto a culinary medium that isn't bread, the meal at hand simply is not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once you have accomplished spreading a thin layer of peanut butter onto the white of one side of one slice of bread, and likewise has been accomplished using grape jelly on a separate slice of bread, you must match the slices of bread up to each other, forming a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In this scenario, the peanut butter-covered face of bread must be facing the jelly-covered face of the second slice of bread so that the peanut butter surface touched the surface of the jelly. The surface of the peanut butter is not allowed to touch a jelly-less substance of bread, resulting in the jelly facing outwards, and likewise applies to the jelly. If a substance is found facing on the outside of the sandwich, the product will not be accepted as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The side with peanut butter and the side with jelly on it must match up and stick together to form one solid sandwich. When the eater picks up the sandwich, he or she must hold both pieces of bread at the same time, or else one slice will fall off, and eating only one slice of bread will not be recognized as the same or even similar to eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Next, you must take a bite of the sandwich. This action will consist of moving the sandwich within such a close proximity of your face that a small "bite" of the sandwich will enter your mouth for you to mash up with your teeth. This bite must be a bite that includes both slices of bread, peanut butter and jelly. Make sure that all obstructions are clear from the mouth and esophagus, not including peanut butter, jelly or bread or any combination of said ingredients. If you have followed all previous steps, this goal will be easily accomplished. Not doing so will create an incorrect and inferior dining experience and thus will not be a peanut and butter sandwich that is being eaten. However, if one successfully gets both peanut butter and jelly in one bite that fits in the mouth and does not result in choking, the dining experience is thus far acceptable. For your complete experience with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to be considered complete and unobjectable, you must perform the previously mentioned series of taking bites of the sandwich, chewing them, and swallowing them repeatedly until the entire sandwich has been removed visible existence. These circumstances may only be reached by eating the entire sandwich, and no parts of the sandwich may be thrown away or given to somebody else. This is your sandwich, and your responsibility. For the Dining experience to be completed, the sandwich must be completely digested, but then my mom got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo holmes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

http://speeling.newgrounds.com/news/p ost/234260

Think that my parody-post is as good?

Lucky little shit.

for that much money and extra shit, why didn't you just buy a go-cart?

You're mean. D:

You can ban my sorry ass from the BBS, but I never use it. I still hate you in your entirety. You're oblivious to life. Stop going on Newgrounds, please.

I signed the petition against you...not that it will do anything...>.> <.< >.>

Because that thing costs a lot of money, and you will have to get that money back somehow...

Where are the spinners and lepard seats?

when i was little i loved those, then i accidentally left it in the street when i ran in for dinner and it was ran over by a semi and destroyed

better than the crappy ones that are supposed to look like pickups.....

No ban? Aww poozy. I was tempting you.

Needs a sound system

niice! you're son is lucky

God damn cars today. With their 24 watt batteries. When I was young we were lucky to get 2!!!
And if your son doesn't like it... Well he will, so that doesn't matter.

Wow. I want one!

You would have never though that your own kid was RKthrilla would you?

Too bad they don't make Hummers or Trans Ams in child size.

itn eeds a fuly sic sub woofer mate
then he can drive down the street going doof, doof, doof

Can you get miniature motorised cranes for kids?

You cannot deny that would be Kick-arse

._.
I meant for a motherfucking ban.

Jeep Wrangler FTW

Can your son pick up hoochies now?

Repaint it and you will have your official Nazi(mod)mobile! p00zter :D
And you can raise your son to be the baddest motherfucker ever and ban even moar ppl, and eventually ban tom fulp and take over ng and rape stampers ass aight'? :D high five!

Can we say uber?

Oh! You got a kid? What's 'santa' gonna get im fer christmas?
And if this is it, how the FUCK are you gonna hide it?

BTW, will he get mod privilages when he gets on ng?

Even at the age of three, Poozy's son is learning how to operate machines like his father.

Today, small cars -- tomorrow, cranes!

Nice piece of hardware you got thar. I didn't even know you had kids. Looking forward to meeting the NG bastard moderators of the future.

I wish they had this shit around when I was a kid. *sigh*

Your kid is going to freak when he sees it. All it needs is some 24 inch rims! Then again, that isn't as practical as everything else is on the car, like radio for listening to music, cup holders for holding stuff like... cups. Bucket seats (never heard of those. Safety purposes?) and seat belts. Rims are just knick-knacks.

Your kid is lucky as hell.. when i was a kid i didnt even get a friggin bike unitl my GRANDMA gave me here sky blue banana seat bike....I still miss that bike... you know.. your first bike means alot to ya when yer a kid.
But a first POWER WHEELS... Hes gonna wanna be yer best friend for that you know..
unless hes an ungratefull little shit.. Then you can go ride it and force him to watch you.. but all in all .. good dad move ....seriously

You spent $900 on your son's Christmas present? God damn are you generous.

I wanna see a pic of you inside it. I demand a pic of you inside it.

How you doin Satan

Go cry about it

How old is your son?

And this is why you make America, NG blogs, and banners all across the country ten times better.

I had hotwheels when I was young.

:C

Luckies.

Do you have to pay child support?

So how bout we take that baby out and find somewhere dark and secluded to park???

What? All I had when i was a kid was a Tire and a stick.

:D Nice, poozy.

goddamnit I want one of those so bad.

*jealous*

They see me rollin'
They hatin'
Patrolin'
Cuz they know my father's Poozy

they know my father's Poozy
they know my father's Poozy
they know my father's Poozy
they know my father's Poozy

My music's so loud
Dad's banning
They hope they don't get pwn'd by Poozy

don't get pwn'd by Poozy
don't get pwn'd by Poozy
don't get pwn'd by Poozy

Countless days spent on my Jeep power wheel, it was bitchin' and yellow. Fuck Yeah! I wasn't a bad driver myself. Then again, kinda hard not to be when you go 2 mph.

Because I'd like to look silly while driving a motorized vehicle that I never had as a kid. Had a big blocky plastic one, and that was about it.

:(

Please?

ROFL!! nice one... i like it

love the new banner poozy. but those your kid deserve this toy?

I be good girl, Santa Poozy. I promise!

I changed my mind about you. Abuse of power is fun.

My family was poor when I was that age. But I had a red car with a yellow top. It had no motor though...It was like a flintstones car.

wow
i wish i had a car lol

I fucked your kid and swallowed. What ya gunna do?

Did it come with a manual to put it together?

Holy shit I always wanted one of those but my parents were piss scared I would drive it into oncoming traffic. Shit I think I would still try to squeeze my ass into one of those just for another taste of my childhood. GO GO POWER WHEELS

Damn it but it is true:

Another post of truth, they were happy until you came along but no you just had to be born you waste of space. You do know they both wanted you aborted but your parents are so stupid they thought that they could abort up till 8 months pregnancy, they couldn't afford to abort you at the begining so they waited but it was to late and your mum shat out what came to be known as you.

Did you have to delete the post?

They should make a taxi-cab version of this.

I hate people who are like omg wahhh my parents are splitting up, i lost my Dad they should be grateful they have both theirfucking parents and there's kids in africa who have neither and they have to take care of their brothers and sisters they are the really unlucky ones. So people like that guy really annoy the hell out of me.

Jesus! Now I don't feel so bad anymore about spoiling the shit out of Conor. That thing is insane! ... I'm looking into it.

Your kids gonna flip out man! I remember when I got a GI Joe power wheel when I was a kid and walking into the room and just being completely shocked.

He's gonna be knee deep.

Yeah, well... I only have one, so I might as well spoil him just incase another one comes along.

You, my good sir, are an asshole.

jesus christ 71/2 MPH? If he ran into a wall or somethin he's fucked!

Well he comes to Newgrounds for help he's not the sharpest tool in the shed is he?

I took my four year old cousin on a go-kart ride around my property once. He was steering and I was using the pedals. If you think 7.5mph will be enough for a three year old, just wait until he turns four and starts wanting to go 25mph!

:3

Jealous.

Can you be my daddy?

Looks nice, but where is he going to play it? Around the house :D

I had a power wheels as a kid. It was redlike that one, but I left it outside in my backyard and it fucking faded due to the weather and it turned pink >:(

I never used it.

Keep it in a garage or something so you don't have a similar story.

Your son is going to get all the bitches and hoes

It needs stickers that say assorted things...

Like...

"BANNED"

"Lil' Poozy"

"I fucked your mommy"

And other obscene things.

http://www.modelmayhem.com/lilianrose
since i had to sign off of stickam --^

Everyone is going to like worship your kid
all the little kids just being like "CAN I TRY" then him
NO YOUR BANNED!

Good job poozy, good job. I hope he has fun

Give junior a pat on the back and tell him he's lucky after he jizzes all over the place.

I read the speed as seventy one/seventy two MPH instead of seven and a half. I was like bullshiiiit.
Lol your kid's going to own the neighbourhood with that beast.

Damn i read the page too ,Working rear suspension, traction wheels not those plastic pieces of shit, thats pretty fucking awesome, he will love it, fuck, i would love it xD As for the kill switch, guess youre going to ned some remote switch to simply cut the power huh? Shouldnt be the hardest :D good luck with that though. n1

Man that's pretty bad ass, all I had when I was a kid was a Big Wheel.

F is fro friends that do stuff together

How old's your kid?

Hey is there room for uncle parlux?

Hmm, reading these comments, I guess I'm lucky to have been banned at all!

Holy shit, what a lucky bastard. That thing is awesome.

Spot on. that's the fucking bollocks

I just hope that that bouncing boy of yours doesn't get his head fucked up in the future, and if that happens, God knows what he'd do with that monster.

Good? It's way better than good.

Yeah i think i laid it on a bit thick looking back at it now. Also i don't think i've ever come to your page without going on about a ban, what a whiny little bitch.

delete the troll posts, not the actual ones

where oh lets say people might need to save a file or sig i made them?

hurr durr oh well who gives a shit you wont listen to me anyway.

i hope your kid has fun with that thing.

No shit it's huge. Wait, did you just chuck it over the fence and say done?
Cus me no tink you get it back.

BTW, you said he has mod privileges. Can't he just go on this page and check what you got im?

Holy shit. I wish you were my dad when I was growing up, because not only would you have had a position of power, but you would've spent more than $20 on me! Fucking incredible!

Teach your kid how to be bad ass like you.

HIII BANTA!

I also had a red car with a yellow top. I played with it until I couldn't fit in it anymore.

Uno

Dos

100th comment :3

Rollin' dawg.

Now post something I can look forward to coming back.

that gif as your userpic is amazing... but lacks balls

I want one. NOW

Well i'd probably be on it then.

i hope the little fucker crashes and dies.

Holds up to 150lbs? What the fuck are you going to feed him? I'm 17, 6'1 and less than 150lbs. I presume he'll be using that until his dying days? Also, 3, fucking hell. You'll be getting him hookers for his 11th?

On the basis that it can take 150lb, I could fit in that. Have you located my mother yet and given her a good seeing to like you were going to?

God damn it poozy way to take a good thing and fuck it up.

Fuck.

Your user banner lacks girth. :O

WAIT YOU HAVE SPAWN?

:(
.

I watched a show earlier, and the guy said, "I'm knee deep..................in pussy." So, I thought I would reference that on your news.

You're a n***a.

You are a motherfucker. Accept it dude. You fucked your own mother when she was drunk. It's ok dude. There is nothing wrong with it.

I've given all the guidance that I can. You must find your own way.

lmao at those guys yesterday everyone just blamming it and you joined in too.

Yeah you are, I SAW THE FUCKING SUIT IN THE FUCKING CLOSET. And you banned me as Banta.

whats the matter poozy? didn't like the little comment i left on your song? i know you deleted it because i didn't get a PM from any of the bots. >:)

Do those lights on the top work?

For 900 bucks they damn well better.

you rock

Hey poozy how many threads do you lock a day on average?

Hey Mr. Poozy
How many locks does it take to get to the center of a permaban?

Threats are bets you make with regret as you wish for a instance where your toil does trouble those who have yet to pay difference to the debt of your actions.

Such lowly actions. ;)

How old is your kid?

Now he can kill people just like you do.

Ice cream sandwhiches are good.

I wondered where all the threads went. So you are indeed saying you lock OVER 9000 Threads a week. I'm calling all the world record books.

i answered u in my blog...

Can your kid's car run over his peers.

here then:
i did overreact i'll admit that but because of a few things:
1- you deleted my account
2- when i pm'd you treated it as a game
3- i haven't seen u ever give anyone a 2nd chance.
4- resetting the ban is would make anyone overeact. you know that and so do alot of other people.

Thanks Poozy! :D

So is this an all terrain vehicle? Can it go through snow?

If you keep putting up the speed maybe he'll play with it more... but then again, you can always take him on a fierce off-road ride. Or just let him ride a shopping cart down one motherfucking steep hill. Just be sure to send me pics of either one.

Also look for my PM on Christmas day, it'll be for teh lulz.

Seems unsafe for a kid to drive this.
Maybe you can put an auto-lock on it at a certain speed when your ( one day ) kid drives it.

Until then, drive that bad ass Jeep style Power Wheels, and hit that max speed!

If he becomes bad, run him over with it :D

Well that shows you that commercial can brainwash you, I guess. I'm looking at the picture and I have the commercial playing over and over in my head even though I know its not a Power Wheels. LMAO! Your kid is going to flip!

Wow, my father never bought me neat shit like this as a kid. You are one nice motherfucker.

Holy crap, i want one of those. It's just so incredible.