About 20% complete right now. Standby for epic lulz kids, this shit is gonna be funny as fuck!

Ready to watch 'em squirm and cry? >:)

PM box is still full. If you got something private to say, say it here and I'll keep it private being it's approved comments only. All other comments will be approved and responded to as usual.

My inbox is FINALLY full....

I have deleted hundreds and hundreds of PM's.

I have ignored thousands of butthurtedness accounts and have replied to many MANY honest PM's.

I am setting this blog to approved comments, only private communications will remain private. Everything else will be approved and responded to as usual as I seek the first "User Page" Mod.

We all love the slap chop.

Check out the hip-hop version that Stamper linked us to:

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Rig liked it, watch him laugh:

Welcome to commie red newgrounds.

This is worse than we mods thought.

I thought this video was pretty sweet, check it out.

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He feels good about himself and his singing.

DESTROY HIM!

Absinthe in now legal once again in the USA.

I for one plan on becoming more familiar with that bitch.

I've heard horror stories about people hallucinating and going crazy. But the one time I tried it in Iceland all I felt was an awesome mellow accompanied by a buzz. It also takes like fucking shit man, seriously.

The place where I bought this mini bottle from also sells this sort of standing pitcher with two valves for pouring. They come with a set of glasses and "special" utensils for holding the sugar cube as your pour the absinthe over it then set it on fire. It's like $100 but I'm pretty sure I'll end up buying it because it looks pretty sweet. If I remember I'll take a pic of it and include it here for your viewing pleasure.

The GURU OF HATE and the mortal Earth bound GOD OF DRUMS folds paper like a girl.

He bleeds on the innocent and has had atrocities occur to his body yet makes prissy folds in paper to turn them into pretty things.

The man and legend known as FUNKbrs made immaculate dainty folds into a piece of paper and then placed it in a contraption made on the spot by him inside of a large envelope and addressed to to Ira L. Poozenstein.

A week later I received this, an epic origami hawk that now guards my PC...

WITHIN THE NEXT 2-3 DAYS. I WILL BE CHOOSING MY SUBSTITUTE.

Many of you have made convincing arguments. I've contacted some of you but have not had the time to contact ALL of the BEST CANDIDATES. If you feel in your heart that you are truly the best candidate. I need you to contact jadetheassassin.

"She" has volunteered to help me make a decision here and I thank "her" very much for "her" help.

What I want from the most qualified applicants is for them to make their best pitch as far as why you feel you are the best MOD substitute in the form of a PM to MS. jadetheassassin. Jadetheassassin will then help me choose the winner.

Good luck guys and girls and god help the winner if he/she fucks up....

Remember that only the users that are 100% sure that they can fill in for me should bother contacting Jade. May the best cunt win!

(Thanks for the help, Jade)

It might be you!

I'll be flying to London in January and I wont be able to mod like I usually do for about a week. So I figure that I'll let one of you guys mod for me while I'm away. I'll give the winner my password and that person would log in as me and moderate just like I would. You'll have to keep up with my ban quota and pwn noobs really hard..... If you don't think you can do that, don't even bother applying. If you think you're up for the task. Explain why here and express your opinion on why I should choose you to mod for me while I'm gone.

Please express your opinion on why you feel you'd be the best candidate and back up your claims.

May the best cunt win...